7 Steps for Resolving Conflict Effectively

Cathie Leimbach • April 19, 2022

We all know that every individual is unique. People have diverse goals, backgrounds, education, personalities, experiences, and personal preferences. So, it shouldn’t surprise us that we often disagree on what to do or how to do it. When disagreements arise, it is important to resolve them respectfully without succumbing to heated relationship-damaging conflict.  Differences of opinion and perspective arise frequently. When they become emotionally charged, we aren’t likely to think clearly or agree on productive solutions. Consider these 7 steps for resolving conflict respectfully.


1.      Find a safe and private place to talk.

Gather in a place where only those involved in the conflict are within earshot and view of the discussion. Avoid other people gossiping or making assumptions that will complicate conflict resolution and interpersonal relationships.

 

2.      Clarify what the conflict is.

What is the disagreement about?  Be clear on what you are trying to accomplish together. Write down the common goal where everyone can see it to remind yourselves of the desired end result of your work.

 

3.      Let everyone have their say and listen actively.

Uncover the needs or factors each person feels aren’t being met by the current direction or other people’s suggestions.  Ask open-ended questions of each other to learn all the perspectives. Restate what you thought you heard to determine if you really understand their thoughts and feelings or need further explanations.  Go around the room, giving each person a chance to be heard and understood without allowing any discussion on the merits of their ideas or concerns.  

 

4.      Determine possible ways to meet the common goal.

Now that you have clarity about the common goal and have truly heard everyone’s individual perspectives, list all the options anyone can think of to accomplish the goal. Withhold discussion about the merits of any option until all options suggested are captured on a whiteboard, flipchart, or screen.

 

5.      Select the best solution.

Identify the common elements in the options. List the pros and cons of each option on flipcharts so everyone can see them. Discuss which pros will be most impactful in achieving the goal and which cons will be most detrimental.  Determine which options everyone believes are strong enough to consider further.  Explore the merits and weaknesses of these in more depth. Ask questions of each other to increase everyone’s understanding of options still on the table. Then, have every person rank the options. Drop the options which nobody or few people rank first or second.  Check if anyone wishes further discussion and then ask each person which of the remaining options are their first and second choice. Discuss the impact of the differences in the options which receive lots of votes and then come to consensus or vote on which one to implement.

 

6.      Be clear on how the chosen solution will be implemented.

What steps will be taken by whom to move forward. Write down the steps, the responsible persons, and the deadline dates. Circulate this document to all involved.

 

7.      Evaluate progress and hold each other accountable to achieving the goal.

Determine when everyone involved will meet to share their progress and address the obstacles that are encountered. Ask for help when you run into a bottleneck. Continue to schedule progress review meetings until the goal is achieved. Once the goal is achieved, or along the way, discuss and write down lessons learned and strategies for reducing future conflicts.

 

Sometimes different perspectives can be understood, options considered, and the implementation plan drafted in an hour or less. In more difficult situations, it could take multiple meetings over several days. However, as long as everyone agrees on the goal to be achieved and the goal has a meaningful impact on the organization’s results, the time is well spent. The goal will be accomplished, people will feel respected, and the foundation will be laid for ongoing group trust, engagement, and results!

Same Conversation, Different Expectations: Why One-on-Ones Need a Clear Close

By Cathie Leimbach • September 29, 2026
Jason left his one-on-one feeling encouraged. His supervisor, Ellen, had listened as he described competing deadlines and his interest in becoming a team leader. They talked about the possibility of shifting some of his workload. Ellen also suggested that training might help him prepare for a leadership role. "Let's work on that," she said. Jason thought help was coming. Ellen thought Jason would bring her a plan. Two weeks later, the deadlines were closer. Nothing had been reassigned. Neither had looked into training. During their next one-on-one, Ellen asked how things were going. "I'm still waiting to hear which project you want me to focus on," Jason said. "I thought we agreed that you would work that out." "And the leadership training?" "Did you find a course?" Jason paused. "I thought you were going to recommend one." They had discussed the same topics. They had left with different expectations. Neither intended to let the other down. But they hadn't agreed on who would do what, or when. Turn a Good Conversation into Clear Next Steps Listening matters. So does what happens after you listen. Before you end your next one-on-one, take a few minutes to make sure you and your employee understand what comes next. Talk about priorities. If everything can't be done at once, agree on what comes first. Ask what might get in the way, and what support would help. Make room for professional growth, too. What does the employee want to learn? What responsibility would they like to prepare for? Identify a step you can each take to move that development forward. Then write down your agreements. Keep the notes simple: what needs to happen, who will do it, and by when. Include your own commitments. Putting It Into Practice Ellen and Jason tried again. "The client proposal comes first," Ellen said. "I'll talk with Marcus today about taking over the weekly report. By Friday, I'll let you know whether he can." "I'll find two leadership courses before our next meeting," Jason said. "Then we can talk about which one fits." Both Jason and Ellen knew what to do next. The following week, both reported their findings and they made decisions on how to move forward. Jason’s work became more aligned with Ellen’s departmental goals. Jason felt valued and appreciated. Their weekly one-to-ones became the backbone of their workplace success. Want to Make Your Workplace Conversations More Productive? Join us for the Workplace Conversations Clinic on October 19 . Bring a conversation you want to handle more effectively, and let's work on making the next steps clear. Register Here

Want High-Performing Employees? Make Expectations Clear During One-on-Ones

By Cathie Leimbach • September 29, 2026
Sally appreciated that her supervisor made time for weekly one-on-ones. It made her feel valued. But after 18 months with Emerald Corp, something was missing. She rarely received feedback. Her supervisor didn’t tell her what she was doing especially well—or where she needed to improve. And although the company had promised continuing education when she was hired, no development opportunities had materialized. Sally loved learning. Several next-level positions interested her, but she knew she needed additional knowledge and skills. Meanwhile, two college classmates working in other departments had already been promoted. She was a fast learner. She was getting bored. And she was beginning to wonder whether she had a future at Emerald. So Sally started applying elsewhere. During Monday’s one-on-one, she asked her supervisor whether he would serve as a reference. He was stunned. “You’re doing well,” he said. “There are lots of opportunities for you here.” Sally asked whether he would support her applying for an internal position. “Well, you’re doing fairly well,” he replied, “but there are several things you could be doing better. You’d also need more experience or training before you’d be ready for the next level.” Sally was confused. “What should I be doing better?” Her supervisor mentioned a few areas for improvement. “Why haven’t you told me this before?” Sally asked. “No news is good news,” he replied. “You’re certainly not at risk of losing your job.” “But you’re telling me I’m not ready for a promotion. How am I supposed to improve if I don’t know what you expect?” Her supervisor assumed Sally would figure it out over time. Sally had assumed she was already meeting expectations. Both assumptions were costly. Within days, Sally had two interviews with other companies. One-on-Ones Should Help Employees Succeed Employees shouldn’t have to guess what high performance looks like. One-on-ones are an opportunity to make expectations clear and help employees become more successful. Talk about what they are doing well. Be specific about where improvement is needed. Ask about their challenges, interests, and future goals. Then provide the coaching, training, and support that can help them succeed. Don’t wait until an employee asks for a reference to talk about their future. Ask before you assume. Conversation is where leadership happens™ Want to Make Your Workplace Conversations More Productive? Join us for the Workplace Conversations Clinic on October 19 . Bring a conversation you want to handle more effectively, and let's work on making the next steps clear. Register HERE