7 Steps for Resolving Conflict Effectively

Cathie Leimbach • April 19, 2022

We all know that every individual is unique. People have diverse goals, backgrounds, education, personalities, experiences, and personal preferences. So, it shouldn’t surprise us that we often disagree on what to do or how to do it. When disagreements arise, it is important to resolve them respectfully without succumbing to heated relationship-damaging conflict.  Differences of opinion and perspective arise frequently. When they become emotionally charged, we aren’t likely to think clearly or agree on productive solutions. Consider these 7 steps for resolving conflict respectfully.


1.      Find a safe and private place to talk.

Gather in a place where only those involved in the conflict are within earshot and view of the discussion. Avoid other people gossiping or making assumptions that will complicate conflict resolution and interpersonal relationships.

 

2.      Clarify what the conflict is.

What is the disagreement about?  Be clear on what you are trying to accomplish together. Write down the common goal where everyone can see it to remind yourselves of the desired end result of your work.

 

3.      Let everyone have their say and listen actively.

Uncover the needs or factors each person feels aren’t being met by the current direction or other people’s suggestions.  Ask open-ended questions of each other to learn all the perspectives. Restate what you thought you heard to determine if you really understand their thoughts and feelings or need further explanations.  Go around the room, giving each person a chance to be heard and understood without allowing any discussion on the merits of their ideas or concerns.  

 

4.      Determine possible ways to meet the common goal.

Now that you have clarity about the common goal and have truly heard everyone’s individual perspectives, list all the options anyone can think of to accomplish the goal. Withhold discussion about the merits of any option until all options suggested are captured on a whiteboard, flipchart, or screen.

 

5.      Select the best solution.

Identify the common elements in the options. List the pros and cons of each option on flipcharts so everyone can see them. Discuss which pros will be most impactful in achieving the goal and which cons will be most detrimental.  Determine which options everyone believes are strong enough to consider further.  Explore the merits and weaknesses of these in more depth. Ask questions of each other to increase everyone’s understanding of options still on the table. Then, have every person rank the options. Drop the options which nobody or few people rank first or second.  Check if anyone wishes further discussion and then ask each person which of the remaining options are their first and second choice. Discuss the impact of the differences in the options which receive lots of votes and then come to consensus or vote on which one to implement.

 

6.      Be clear on how the chosen solution will be implemented.

What steps will be taken by whom to move forward. Write down the steps, the responsible persons, and the deadline dates. Circulate this document to all involved.

 

7.      Evaluate progress and hold each other accountable to achieving the goal.

Determine when everyone involved will meet to share their progress and address the obstacles that are encountered. Ask for help when you run into a bottleneck. Continue to schedule progress review meetings until the goal is achieved. Once the goal is achieved, or along the way, discuss and write down lessons learned and strategies for reducing future conflicts.

 

Sometimes different perspectives can be understood, options considered, and the implementation plan drafted in an hour or less. In more difficult situations, it could take multiple meetings over several days. However, as long as everyone agrees on the goal to be achieved and the goal has a meaningful impact on the organization’s results, the time is well spent. The goal will be accomplished, people will feel respected, and the foundation will be laid for ongoing group trust, engagement, and results!

They Can't Read Your Mind. Tell Them You Appreciate Them.

By Cathie Leimbach • October 13, 2026
"I thought you knew I appreciated your work." Kate hadn't planned to say those words in a one-to-one. But when a team member told her, "I'm never quite sure whether you think I'm doing a good job," she was caught off guard. He was someone she relied on. He helped new colleagues settle in, handled difficult customers calmly, and often spotted problems before they got bigger. Of course she valued him. Then she tried to remember the last time she'd told him, and what she'd actually said. There was a quick "Thanks, everyone" at the end of a meeting. A "Great work" in a team email. But she couldn't recall ever telling him what she had noticed about his contribution. Kate had been worried about rising absences and a team that seemed less involved. Praise wouldn't explain or fix every issue. Still, this conversation raised a question she hadn't considered: how many people on her team were feeling their efforts weren’t noticed or appreciated? It's easy to assume people know we appreciate them, especially the ones who quietly get on with the job. We turn our attention to whatever needs fixing, and we don’t acknowledge the people who are doing good work. Meanwhile, people who never receive thanks start to wonder if they are noticed, pull back, stop offering their ideas, and start job hunting elsewhere. Try this week: Look for one contribution each person on your team is making . Tell them what you notice about their work and why it matters. Instead of simply saying, "Good job," try: "Thanks for staying ten minutes past shift change to walk Jamie through the new changeover on Line 3. She now knows exactly what to do instead of guessing." Three elements of meaningful praise are: Be specific. Name what they did and the effect it had. Keep it natural and proportionate. A quiet word can mean a lot. Recognition doesn’t have to be in front of the whole team. Let it stand on its own. Don’t add a "but" or a new request right after the positive feedback. Sincere, specific praise helps people feel seen. It builds rapport because you're showing you notice how they contribute, not just whether the task got done. And people are more likely to speak up and share ideas when they feel heard and connected to the people they work with.  Conversation is Where Leadership Happens™ How often does your appreciation go unspoken? Join our Workplace Conversations Clinic on October 19, 3:00 to 3:30 PM, live on Zoom. You'll practice giving praise that feels natural and helps people feel valued. You'll also have the chance to practice other difficult workplace conversations, from raising concerns to working through disagreements. Reserve your place here!

“All Good” is Never a Good Response

By Cathie Leimbach • October 6, 2026
“All good,” they said. But Sarah wasn’t so sure. In the team meeting, just two people did most of the talking. Team members who once offered ideas just waited for the meeting to end. Three people called in 'sick' on the day of our monthly planning and progress-review meeting. Today was just another day with her disengaged team. Sarah realized that whenever she asked others how things were going, she got the same response: “All good.” It never failed that within a day or two of what seemed like positive feedback, a problem surfaced. It might be that they didn't know how to proceed with a new project. Or they were trying to hide a mistake they made. Things definitely were not "All Good". Then, she thought about the questions she usually asked. “Everything on track?” “Will that be ready by Friday?” She wanted to know how her people were progressing with their work. But she had asked closed-ended questions, so she got brief responses that told her nothing. At her next one-to-one, she asked, “How have things been for you lately?” “Fine. Busy.” She almost moved on. But, instead, she dug a bit deeper. “What’s been making things especially busy?” This time, the answer was different. There were competing demands she hadn’t known about. A concern that had gone unspoken. And a feeling that nobody really talked anymore unless they needed help with something urgent. This one conversation provided important information. It gave her a place to start moving forward to improve engagement and results. If you can relate to Sarah's struggles, here are some tips to help you stay on top of how your employees' work is truly going. Absenteeism and disengagement can have many causes. We can't begin to understand them by accepting thoughtless answers. We need to create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing what’s really happening. Interpersonal rapport is essential. It grows through small moments: asking a thoughtful question, listening without rushing to solve a concern, remembering what someone said, and checking back. This week, try asking a couple of specific open-ended questions such as: “What’s been going well for you?" And "What’s been difficult?” Let the answers guide your next questions. Give the person room to share. Then, a few days later, follow up. “You mentioned the client report deadline was going to be hard to meet. How’s it going?” Then, "What help do you need?" When you take a few minutes for such check-ins, employees feel more supported than if you just ask, “How are you?”, as you are walking by. It indicates: I heard your concern. I remembered. I’m interested. I want you to succeed. Your team members are more likely to get involved, be honest with you, and share ideas when they feel heard and connected to the people they work with. Want to get more comfortable starting those conversations? Join our Workplace Conversations Clinic on October 19 to practice building interpersonal rapport through conversations that matter.  Reserve your place → [registration link]