7 Steps for Resolving Conflict Effectively

Cathie Leimbach • April 19, 2022

We all know that every individual is unique. People have diverse goals, backgrounds, education, personalities, experiences, and personal preferences. So, it shouldn’t surprise us that we often disagree on what to do or how to do it. When disagreements arise, it is important to resolve them respectfully without succumbing to heated relationship-damaging conflict.  Differences of opinion and perspective arise frequently. When they become emotionally charged, we aren’t likely to think clearly or agree on productive solutions. Consider these 7 steps for resolving conflict respectfully.


1.      Find a safe and private place to talk.

Gather in a place where only those involved in the conflict are within earshot and view of the discussion. Avoid other people gossiping or making assumptions that will complicate conflict resolution and interpersonal relationships.

 

2.      Clarify what the conflict is.

What is the disagreement about?  Be clear on what you are trying to accomplish together. Write down the common goal where everyone can see it to remind yourselves of the desired end result of your work.

 

3.      Let everyone have their say and listen actively.

Uncover the needs or factors each person feels aren’t being met by the current direction or other people’s suggestions.  Ask open-ended questions of each other to learn all the perspectives. Restate what you thought you heard to determine if you really understand their thoughts and feelings or need further explanations.  Go around the room, giving each person a chance to be heard and understood without allowing any discussion on the merits of their ideas or concerns.  

 

4.      Determine possible ways to meet the common goal.

Now that you have clarity about the common goal and have truly heard everyone’s individual perspectives, list all the options anyone can think of to accomplish the goal. Withhold discussion about the merits of any option until all options suggested are captured on a whiteboard, flipchart, or screen.

 

5.      Select the best solution.

Identify the common elements in the options. List the pros and cons of each option on flipcharts so everyone can see them. Discuss which pros will be most impactful in achieving the goal and which cons will be most detrimental.  Determine which options everyone believes are strong enough to consider further.  Explore the merits and weaknesses of these in more depth. Ask questions of each other to increase everyone’s understanding of options still on the table. Then, have every person rank the options. Drop the options which nobody or few people rank first or second.  Check if anyone wishes further discussion and then ask each person which of the remaining options are their first and second choice. Discuss the impact of the differences in the options which receive lots of votes and then come to consensus or vote on which one to implement.

 

6.      Be clear on how the chosen solution will be implemented.

What steps will be taken by whom to move forward. Write down the steps, the responsible persons, and the deadline dates. Circulate this document to all involved.

 

7.      Evaluate progress and hold each other accountable to achieving the goal.

Determine when everyone involved will meet to share their progress and address the obstacles that are encountered. Ask for help when you run into a bottleneck. Continue to schedule progress review meetings until the goal is achieved. Once the goal is achieved, or along the way, discuss and write down lessons learned and strategies for reducing future conflicts.

 

Sometimes different perspectives can be understood, options considered, and the implementation plan drafted in an hour or less. In more difficult situations, it could take multiple meetings over several days. However, as long as everyone agrees on the goal to be achieved and the goal has a meaningful impact on the organization’s results, the time is well spent. The goal will be accomplished, people will feel respected, and the foundation will be laid for ongoing group trust, engagement, and results!

Build Thinkers, Not Followers

By Cathie Leimbach • September 2, 2026
Many leaders don't set out to become the answer to every question. It happens gradually. Someone asks their leader how to do it because it's faster than figuring it out. Another employee waits because they don't want to make the wrong decision. Before long, you're answering questions your team should be able to answer on their own. The good news is that you don't have to be the answer to every question. You can build a team that thinks, solves problems, and takes ownership without you giving up appropriate control. Here are a few places to start: Ask Before You Answer When someone brings you a problem, don't start by giving them the solution. Instead, ask:  What do you think? What options have you considered? What would you do if I wasn't here? People grow when they think through problems—not when someone else thinks for them. Let Small Decisions Stay Small. Not every decision needs your approval. Look for low-risk opportunities where employees or supervisors can tell the employee to make the call themselves. Confidence grows with experience. Praise Initiative, Even When It's Imperfect. If people believe they'll be criticized every time they make a decision, they'll stop making them. When someone takes ownership, recognize their initiative. Coaching them to make a better decision is easier in the long run than making every decision yourself. Notice the Questions That Keep Coming Back. If you're answering the same questions week after week, don't just answer them faster. Ask why they're still being asked. The issue may not be your people. It may be an unclear expectation, an inconsistent process, lack of training, or a conversation that never happened. Helping people think for themselves doesn't happen in one meeting. It happens through dozens of everyday collaborative conversations that gradually build confidence, judgment, and ownership. Conversation is Where Leadership Happens™ You don't have to figure it all out alone. Bring your workplace people challenges to the FREE Workplace Conversations Clinic September 21. Join Cathie Leimbach and other leaders for a practical conversation about the people challenges you're facing—and leave with fresh perspectives you can put to work. Register HERE

When the Boss "Bosses People Around"

By Cathie Leimbach • August 25, 2026
This probably isn't the company you imagined building. You wanted a team that solved problems, took ownership, and helped move the business forward. Instead, somewhere along the way, you became the person who answers every question, makes every decision, and tells everyone what to do. The interruptions never end. Every day starts with a plan and ends with another list of problems that somehow became yours to solve. You work harder than ever yet still feel like you're falling behind. Another good employee resigns. Another supervisor struggles. Another improvement initiative loses momentum. You leave work mentally exhausted, wondering why everyone seems busy—but so little actually changes. Your employees feel it, too. When people learn that every decision runs through the boss, they eventually stop making decisions of their own. When leaders spend most of their time directing every task, correcting every mistake, and solving every problem, people gradually stop thinking for themselves. They become cautious instead of confident. They stop offering ideas because they're not sure anyone wants to hear them. Ownership fades. Enthusiasm disappears. The culture slowly shifts from people wanting to contribute to people simply trying to get through the day. Ironically, the more a boss has to boss people around, the less ownership employees take. Before long, leaders become firefighters instead of business builders. Instead of building the company they envisioned, they're simply trying to survive another week. The surprising news is that this cycle usually isn't caused by a lack of effort. The frustrating part is that working harder rarely fixes it. In fact, the harder many leaders push, the more dependent their people become. What feels like the solution often becomes part of the problem. Talking through your leadership challenges with others can be helpful. Ask questions of your network. Get some ideas online. Sometimes another perspective helps you see what your organizational chart or production reports don't. Conversation is Where Leadership Happens™ You don't have to figure it all out alone. Bring your workplace people challenges to the FREE Workplace Conversations Clinic September 21. Join Cathie Leimbach and other leaders for a practical conversation about the people challenges you're facing—and leave with fresh perspectives you can put to work. Register Here