Great Coaching Doesn't Focus on Giving Advice

Cathie Leimbach • April 26, 2022

A leader’s job is to support their employees to success. This includes ensuring employees are clear on what is expected of them, sharing important information, and developing necessary skills. It also includes providing positive feedback to encourage employees in what they are doing well and to kindly provide corrective feedback to help them perform even more effectively.

Leaders worth following also coach employees from being dependent on them, to being independent, to being interdependent with their colleagues.


Guiding employees to be independent and interdependent requires leveraging their knowledge and skills for diverse tasks and a variety of circumstances. This requires that leaders help their employees expand their understanding of how to apply their knowledge and skills as they are assigned new tasks and asked to work on different challenges. This increases individual job satisfaction, team morale, and organizational results.


Yet, many leaders have a tendency towards micromanagement such as telling people specifically how to do each new task and regularly solving problems for them.  When leaders learn how to support and trust experienced employees to handle day-to-day workplace variables independently, it frees the leaders to support others in developing their capacity and to address higher level tasks.


Let’s explore a coaching approach that positions leaders to develop employee competence and confidence, the precursors for independence, interdependence, and collaboration. When leaders use coaching skills they can guide their employees to reflect on their strengths and growth areas and develop the ability to apply their knowledge and skills in new situations. This involves having frequent 2-way one-on-one conversations with employees using open-ended questions and reflective listening. For example:


The leader:

1.      Asks the employee what specific, measurable goal or end result they are working to achieve.

2.      Restates the end result and checks with the employee if they have accurately understood what they said.

3.      Asks the employee what progress they have made towards this goal and listens carefully to their answer. The leader periodically summarizes what they heard to be sure she is understanding.

4.      Asks the employee what actions they still need to take to achieve the goal, periodically checking she has heard the employee’s intent.

5.      Asks additional questions to guide the employee to listing all of the significant steps required to achieve the goal. Only if the employee is missing critical elements of the work or is stumped, does the leader make suggestions of how the employee might proceed.

6.      If, and only if, the employee cannot fully develop their action plan themselves, asks the employee if they would like a suggestion. Only if the employee says yes, the leader shares their ideas. If the employee doesn’t want suggestions but hasn’t developed a complete plan, then the leader asks the employee to take some time to think about their action plan. Before ending this meeting, the leader asks the employee to set a date, time, and location to reconvene the conversation.

7.      After a potentially successful action plan has been developed, asks what resources, information, training, or help they need to achieve the goal.

8.      Asks how she, herself, can help them. The leader confirms what she will do to support the employee.

9.      Asks the employee to state when and how they should connect for accountability. The leader may need to ask further questions until a specific, feasible approach and time are agreed to. 

 

When leaders support their employees through such a self-discovery process, they build employee confidence and competence, as well as demonstrating that they trust the employee. This leadership style gradually, even quickly, increased employee engagement, morale, and productivity. 

Feedback Isn't a Download. It's a Dialogue.

By Cathie Leimbach • July 14, 2026
Most leaders know they should give feedback. Yet many avoid it. Not because they don't care, but because they worry they'll discourage someone, create conflict, or say the wrong thing. Unfortunately, when feedback is delayed, vague, or avoided, employees don't feel supported—they feel uncertain. Research highlighted in a recent McKinsey Quarterly article found that employees who receive regular, specific feedback are significantly more engaged than those who don't. The problem isn't that employees dislike feedback. They dislike feedback that feels judgmental, unclear, or disconnected from their growth. The strongest leaders understand something important: Feedback isn't a download. It's a dialogue. When leaders approach feedback as an employee development conversation rather than a list of mistakes, people become more open to hearing hard truths and more motivated to improve. Effective feedback communicates two powerful messages at the same time: I respect you. I believe you can grow. That combination changes everything. The best leaders don't simply evaluate past performance; they help employees see future potential. Rather than focusing only on what went wrong, they provide feedforward —guidance on what someone can do to become even more successful. High-performing organizations understand a simple truth: Improvement requires input. The question for leaders isn't whether to give feedback. It's whether our feedback leaves people feeling smaller—or stronger. Feedback doesn't change people. Better conversations do. Download our one-page guide: 5 Practices That Turn Feedback Into Growth Learn five practical ways to make every feedback conversation more productive, more encouraging, and more likely to inspire lasting growth. Conversation is where leadership happens

Performance Conversations: Clarity Is Kindness

By Cathie Leimbach • July 7, 2026
Most leaders want better performance. They want employees who take ownership, meet expectations, solve problems, and continue growing. Yet many leaders seldom initiate performance conversations – and when they do, it doesn’t go well. Leaders often hesitate because they fear discouraging people. Employees, meanwhile, don't know if they are missing the target. This can be costly. Research highlighted in McKinsey's Courageous Conversations article found that organizations with strong performance practices are four times more likely to outperform their peers. Yet fewer than one-third of employees believe performance reviews actually help them improve. The problem is not just a lack of performance conversations. It's a lack of clarity. The article points to a simple but powerful distinction: separate the hardware of performance from the software of performance. The hardware includes facts, goals, KPIs, commitments, timelines, and standards. The software includes tone, timing, relationships, empathy, and intent. When leaders clearly explain the facts while delivering them with care and respect, employees become more receptive to improvement. Strong leaders don't judge people—they diagnose work.  They focus on behaviors, actions, and results rather than character. They clarify expectations, provide coaching, and create frequent opportunities for alignment. In high-performing cultures, clarity isn't viewed as criticism. It is viewed as support. As the article notes, "Clarity is a kindness, and ambiguity is a burden." Employees deserve to know where they stand, what success looks like, and how to improve. When leaders provide that clarity with dignity and respect, performance conversations become growth conversations. And growth is where better results begin. Download the Performance Conversations: Hardware & Software Checklist for Leaders and learn how to have everyday performance discussions that include opportunities for growth, accountability, and stronger results.