Disagreement - A Sign of a Healthy Team
Cathie Leimbach • September 13, 2022
“Conflict is the natural result of talented, driven people bumping into one another,” says Todd Henry.
When we think about how to achieve our goals and overcome our obstacles, we usually come up with great ideas that could work for us. Our teammates, however, are different people with different experiences, personalities, and strengths which position them to suggest different approaches.
Many leaders and team members are proud to declare that they don’t have any conflicts or disagreements at work. However, this isn’t really something to be proud of. It is a sign that the workplace may not be an emotionally safe place to share one’s ideas or the team members aren’t independent thinkers.
Here are a few common unhealthy realities in organizations that don’t experience conflict.
- There is no accountability to achieving priorities, so there is no push for quality work.
- Nobody cares about the mission of the organization, so there is no passion about how the work gets done.
- Leaders hire improperly so employees often lack the competence to have independent ideas or the confidence to share them.
In an emotionally safe environment with right-fit hires and right-seat assignments, team members often share diverse ideas. This can frequently lead to discord. Here are some tips for managing the discord in a healthy, respectful manner.
- Argue over ideas, not people or personalities. Keep your conversation focused on the topic at hand, not on perceived characteristics of the people involved.
- Make sure you are clear what the conflict is – that you are talking about the same primary issue.
- Look for the good points in each other’s perspectives. Listen to each other and ask questions to fully understand where they are coming from. Find common ground before addressing your differences.
What is one aspect of healthy conflict management that you can implement in your workplace?
For weeks, Mary had been frustrated with frequently occurring delays in shipping. During her one-on-one with her supervisor, she finally told him what was going on. He listened, asked questions, and said he would look into it. She left the meeting feeling encouraged. Maybe this situation would finally get resolved. A week later, her supervisor started their one-on-one by asking “So, what do you want to talk about today?” He didn’t mention what he had learned about the problem in shipping. “Of course not!,” she thought. “Nothing is going to change.” So, she sadly replied, “Nothing really. Everything’s fine.” Sometimes employees stop talking because experience has taught them that speaking up doesn’t make any difference. One-on-ones are an opportunity to change that. Give the employee a voice in what gets discussed. Help them address bottlenecks. Follow-up on your to dos from the conversation. It can be as simple as: “Last week we talked about the shipping problem. I checked into it, and here’s what I found out. A possible solution would be this .... How do think that might work? ... What other ideas do you have?” The message is clear: I heard you. I remembered. What you have to say matters. And when employees believe their concerns and ideas matter, they’re more likely to keep speaking up. Conversation is Where Leadership Happens™ What Workplace Conversation Are You Struggling With? Maybe an employee has stopped talking. Maybe you’re dealing with accountability, conflict, attendance, performance—or simply a conversation you’re not quite sure how to approach. Bring it to the FREE Workplace Conversations Clinic on September 21. Join Cathie Leimbach and other leaders to talk through real workplace people challenges, hear different perspectives, and get ideas for moving forward. Register Here
Many leaders don't set out to become the answer to every question. It happens gradually. Someone asks their leader how to do it because it's faster than figuring it out. Another employee waits because they don't want to make the wrong decision. Before long, you're answering questions your team should be able to answer on their own. The good news is that you don't have to be the answer to every question. You can build a team that thinks, solves problems, and takes ownership without you giving up appropriate control. Here are a few places to start: Ask Before You Answer When someone brings you a problem, don't start by giving them the solution. Instead, ask: What do you think? What options have you considered? What would you do if I wasn't here? People grow when they think through problems—not when someone else thinks for them. Let Small Decisions Stay Small. Not every decision needs your approval. Look for low-risk opportunities where employees or supervisors can tell the employee to make the call themselves. Confidence grows with experience. Praise Initiative, Even When It's Imperfect. If people believe they'll be criticized every time they make a decision, they'll stop making them. When someone takes ownership, recognize their initiative. Coaching them to make a better decision is easier in the long run than making every decision yourself. Notice the Questions That Keep Coming Back. If you're answering the same questions week after week, don't just answer them faster. Ask why they're still being asked. The issue may not be your people. It may be an unclear expectation, an inconsistent process, lack of training, or a conversation that never happened. Helping people think for themselves doesn't happen in one meeting. It happens through dozens of everyday collaborative conversations that gradually build confidence, judgment, and ownership. Conversation is Where Leadership Happens™ You don't have to figure it all out alone. Bring your workplace people challenges to the FREE Workplace Conversations Clinic September 21. Join Cathie Leimbach and other leaders for a practical conversation about the people challenges you're facing—and leave with fresh perspectives you can put to work. Register HERE
