Disagreement - A Sign of a Healthy Team
Cathie Leimbach • September 13, 2022
“Conflict is the natural result of talented, driven people bumping into one another,” says Todd Henry.
When we think about how to achieve our goals and overcome our obstacles, we usually come up with great ideas that could work for us. Our teammates, however, are different people with different experiences, personalities, and strengths which position them to suggest different approaches.
Many leaders and team members are proud to declare that they don’t have any conflicts or disagreements at work. However, this isn’t really something to be proud of. It is a sign that the workplace may not be an emotionally safe place to share one’s ideas or the team members aren’t independent thinkers.
Here are a few common unhealthy realities in organizations that don’t experience conflict.
- There is no accountability to achieving priorities, so there is no push for quality work.
- Nobody cares about the mission of the organization, so there is no passion about how the work gets done.
- Leaders hire improperly so employees often lack the competence to have independent ideas or the confidence to share them.
In an emotionally safe environment with right-fit hires and right-seat assignments, team members often share diverse ideas. This can frequently lead to discord. Here are some tips for managing the discord in a healthy, respectful manner.
- Argue over ideas, not people or personalities. Keep your conversation focused on the topic at hand, not on perceived characteristics of the people involved.
- Make sure you are clear what the conflict is – that you are talking about the same primary issue.
- Look for the good points in each other’s perspectives. Listen to each other and ask questions to fully understand where they are coming from. Find common ground before addressing your differences.
What is one aspect of healthy conflict management that you can implement in your workplace?
Most leaders want better performance. They want employees who take ownership, meet expectations, solve problems, and continue growing. Yet many leaders seldom initiate performance conversations – and when they do, it doesn’t go well. Leaders often hesitate because they fear discouraging people. Employees, meanwhile, don't know if they are missing the target. This can be costly. Research highlighted in McKinsey's Courageous Conversations article found that organizations with strong performance practices are four times more likely to outperform their peers. Yet fewer than one-third of employees believe performance reviews actually help them improve. The problem is not just a lack of performance conversations. It's a lack of clarity. The article points to a simple but powerful distinction: separate the hardware of performance from the software of performance. The hardware includes facts, goals, KPIs, commitments, timelines, and standards. The software includes tone, timing, relationships, empathy, and intent. When leaders clearly explain the facts while delivering them with care and respect, employees become more receptive to improvement. Strong leaders don't judge people—they diagnose work. They focus on behaviors, actions, and results rather than character. They clarify expectations, provide coaching, and create frequent opportunities for alignment. In high-performing cultures, clarity isn't viewed as criticism. It is viewed as support. As the article notes, "Clarity is a kindness, and ambiguity is a burden." Employees deserve to know where they stand, what success looks like, and how to improve. When leaders provide that clarity with dignity and respect, performance conversations become growth conversations. And growth is where better results begin. Download the Performance Conversations: Hardware & Software Checklist for Leaders and learn how to have everyday performance discussions that include opportunities for growth, accountability, and stronger results.
Most workplace tension doesn't come from major conflicts. It comes from too few conversations. A disappointment that was never discussed. A broken agreement that was never repaired. Appreciation that was never expressed. Over time, these "withholds" create friction that slows collaboration, weakens trust, and makes even simple conversations feel difficult. The strongest teams don't avoid tension—they address it early. Research highlighted in a recent McKinsey article found that unresolved tensions can significantly reduce team effectiveness, while high-trust teams consistently outperform their peers. The difference isn't the absence of problems. It's the willingness to talk about them. One of the most practical leadership habits is creating regular opportunities for transparent interaction. That includes appreciation. People should hear what they're doing well far more often than they hear about their shortfalls. Specific, genuine recognition builds trust over time. Those trust deposits matter because once positive relationships are built, difficult conversation are more likely to accept the message . When correction is needed, reinforce that you value the person, even though they aren’t perfect. The goal is growth, not judgment. But leaders should be careful not to make appreciation transactional. If positive feedback has been absent for months, suddenly offering praise immediately before a critique usually feels insincere. Trust is built through a steady pattern of recognition, encouragement, and honest conversation—not a last-minute compliment. Transparent leaders also address issues early. Small frustrations become large resentments when left unresolved. Teams that clear the air quickly spend less energy managing tension and more energy producing results. The result? Less friction. More trust. Stronger relationships. Better performance. Because healthy conversations don't just solve problems—they strengthen the team. Free Leader Guide: 5 Practices for Trust-Building Conversations The best leaders don't wait for tension to become conflict. They build trust before it's needed. Download our 5 Practices for Trust-Building Conversations guide to learn practical ways to strengthen relationships, reduce friction, and create a culture where honest conversations lead to better performance. Download the guide and start building trust one conversation at a time.