Disagreement - A Sign of a Healthy Team
Cathie Leimbach • September 13, 2022
“Conflict is the natural result of talented, driven people bumping into one another,” says Todd Henry.
When we think about how to achieve our goals and overcome our obstacles, we usually come up with great ideas that could work for us. Our teammates, however, are different people with different experiences, personalities, and strengths which position them to suggest different approaches.
Many leaders and team members are proud to declare that they don’t have any conflicts or disagreements at work. However, this isn’t really something to be proud of. It is a sign that the workplace may not be an emotionally safe place to share one’s ideas or the team members aren’t independent thinkers.
Here are a few common unhealthy realities in organizations that don’t experience conflict.
- There is no accountability to achieving priorities, so there is no push for quality work.
- Nobody cares about the mission of the organization, so there is no passion about how the work gets done.
- Leaders hire improperly so employees often lack the competence to have independent ideas or the confidence to share them.
In an emotionally safe environment with right-fit hires and right-seat assignments, team members often share diverse ideas. This can frequently lead to discord. Here are some tips for managing the discord in a healthy, respectful manner.
- Argue over ideas, not people or personalities. Keep your conversation focused on the topic at hand, not on perceived characteristics of the people involved.
- Make sure you are clear what the conflict is – that you are talking about the same primary issue.
- Look for the good points in each other’s perspectives. Listen to each other and ask questions to fully understand where they are coming from. Find common ground before addressing your differences.
What is one aspect of healthy conflict management that you can implement in your workplace?
Tom walked into his one-on-one feeling relieved. For a week, he had been struggling with two critical assignments. His supervisor had delegated them without much context, and Tom wasn’t clear about the desired results or how to get started. Surely, he thought, we can sort this out today. Fifteen minutes later, Tom walked back to his desk just as confused. His supervisor had done nearly all the talking—reviewing priorities, sharing updates, and reminding Tom that the two assignments were important. But he never asked the question Tom needed to hear: “What do you need from me to be successful?” When One-on-Ones Become One-Way Conversations This happens more often than we might think. Leaders enter one-on-ones with a list of things they need to communicate. They talk through the list, ask if there are any questions, and move on to the next meeting. But a one-on-one should do more than transfer information. Its purpose is to help the employee succeed. That requires conversation—and conversation requires listening. Ask what the employee wants to discuss. Listen for what is getting in the way. Do they need clearer expectations? More training? Better resources? Help making a decision? Encouragement that they are headed in the right direction? Then determine together what each of you will do next. Try This in Your Next One-on-One Instead of starting with your agenda, begin with one simple question: “What would be most helpful for us to talk about today?” Then listen. You may discover that the most valuable thing you contribute to the meeting isn’t what you say. It’s what you learn. Conversation is Where Leadership Happens™ If this has you thinking about the conversations you have with your team, join me at the Workplace Conversation Clinic on September 21 . Bring a question about your one-on-ones or a conversation you’re finding difficult, and let’s work through it together. RESERVE YOUR SPOT HERE
For weeks, Mary had been frustrated with frequently occurring delays in shipping. During her one-on-one with her supervisor, she finally told him what was going on. He listened, asked questions, and said he would look into it. She left the meeting feeling encouraged. Maybe this situation would finally get resolved. A week later, her supervisor started their one-on-one by asking “So, what do you want to talk about today?” He didn’t mention what he had learned about the problem in shipping. “Of course not!,” she thought. “Nothing is going to change.” So, she sadly replied, “Nothing really. Everything’s fine.” Sometimes employees stop talking because experience has taught them that speaking up doesn’t make any difference. One-on-ones are an opportunity to change that. Give the employee a voice in what gets discussed. Help them address bottlenecks. Follow-up on your to dos from the conversation. It can be as simple as: “Last week we talked about the shipping problem. I checked into it, and here’s what I found out. A possible solution would be this .... How do think that might work? ... What other ideas do you have?” The message is clear: I heard you. I remembered. What you have to say matters. And when employees believe their concerns and ideas matter, they’re more likely to keep speaking up. Conversation is Where Leadership Happens™ What Workplace Conversation Are You Struggling With? Maybe an employee has stopped talking. Maybe you’re dealing with accountability, conflict, attendance, performance—or simply a conversation you’re not quite sure how to approach. Bring it to the FREE Workplace Conversations Clinic on September 21. Join Cathie Leimbach and other leaders to talk through real workplace people challenges, hear different perspectives, and get ideas for moving forward. Register Here
