When Managers Really Listen
Cathie Leimbach • August 5, 2020
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When you talk with your team members, do you assume that you are understanding everything they are trying to tell you? Many of us would say that of course we understand. Both of us are fluent in English and we aren't stupid!
However, such thinking ignores several realities of human communication.
There may be, on average, 28 different precise meanings or innuendoes for each word in the English language.
What we as listeners 'hear' tends to only be 50% accurate. Half of what the other person is trying to communicate has not reached our brain.
The words someone says only account for 7% of the message we receive. The speaker's voice has a 38% impact and body language has a 55% impact on how we interpret the message.
Since there are so many factors that interfere with effective communication, we are wise, not stupid, to utilize reflective listening. This can be as simple as listening intently and then saying, "What I heard is . . . . Did I hear you correctly?" Then the other person can further explain to increase clarity.
How much could you reduce interpersonal discord and wasted time and money if you increased clarity and alignment within your team by regularly practicing reflective listening?
“The same production line’s data is late again,” someone said. “Are we just supposed to keep begging for it?” Maya looked up. Two employees had stopped their own work to help track down the data missing from the weekly report to headquarters. She knew there had been delays. She hadn’t paid attention to how often or what happened when the data came in late. Each Friday, John sent the report out, and Maya moved on. Her team hadn’t moved on. They were tired of disrupting their own work to address the same problem week after week. The Symptom Late work. Repeated mistakes. People asking why they should bother when others don’t do their part. When there is a pattern of leaders letting missed deadlines slide, employees notice. Silence can leave people thinking that missed commitments are acceptable, even when that isn’t what the leader intends. Monitoring performance gives leaders a clearer picture of what is happening—and something specific to discuss with those involved. The Tip Here are three steps to noticing problems and sharing your performance concerns. Track the data. Look at information tied to the work, such as deadlines and errors. Maya could track how often data for the weekly reports arrived late. Walk around. Spend time where the work happens. Notice what people are doing and how one person’s work affects another’s. Maya saw two employees put their work aside to finish someone else’s task. Share what you find. Bring the facts and your observations to the attention of the person involved. Maya could say: “Your weekly production data was submitted late three of the last four weeks. Today, I saw Lee and Sam stop their work to get the raw data and do the analysis.” That makes it clear to the employee that submitting data late is not acceptable. Conversation is Where Leadership Happens™ Is there a pattern at your workplace that you’ve noticed but haven’t addressed? Join our Workplace Conversations Clinic on November 16 to discuss addressing performance concerns. Bring a situation you’ve been letting slide. Reserve your place HERE
"When you get a chance." Kelly meant Wednesday. Alex heard next week. The report needed fixing. Alex had said he'd take care of it. So, when she opened the file before Thursday's meeting, she expected to see the changes. They weren't there. "I thought you meant next week," Alex said. "And I wasn't sure which sections you wanted changed." Kelly was frustrated. This wasn't the first time something had slipped. But as she replayed their conversation, she remembered what she'd actually said: "Can you tidy this up when you get a chance?" She had a deadline in mind. She knew exactly what needed changing. She hadn't told Alex either one. The Symptom Missed deadlines. Quiet resentment. The thought, "This isn't the first time." It's hard to hold someone accountable for an expectation that was never stated. Too often, when a leader’s expectation isn’t met, they think, "my team members just don't follow through" or "I shouldn't have to chase people." Yet, the problem is often that the leader didn’t communicate clearly. Requests like "Keep me updated," "Make this a priority", and "Be more proactive" may feel clear in your mind when you say it. But others may leave the conversation with a very different picture in their mind. Then, leaders are frustrated when the result doesn't match their intention. The Tip Healthy accountability starts with a shared understanding of what needs to happen. It continues when you follow up on what was agreed to. Before you finish your next conversation about a task, make sure you've settled four things: What needs doing What the desired result includes Who will do it When it is to be done by After you have clearly stated your expectations, ask the other person to state the specifics of the assignment. Give them an opportunity to raise questions or discuss competing demands. Kelly could have said: "Alex, please update the sales figures and add a short summary of what's changed since last month. I need it by Wednesday, October 28, at 3:00 pm so I can review it before Thursday's meeting. To be sure I explained the task well enough, please state what I asked you to do.” “What challenges might get in the way?" Then agree on what happens if a problem comes up: "If that timing looks too tight, let me know by Tuesday so we can work out the next step." Now there's a commitment you can both refer to. If Wednesday comes and the report isn't ready, Kelly can address it directly: "We agreed it would be ready by 3:00 today, and I haven't received it. What happened?" Clarity won't prevent every missed deadline. But it increases the chances that everyone is on the same page – and that your expectations will be met. When leaders make expectations clear and are open to employee questions and concerns, accountability becomes part of how the team works. Quality results become the norm. Conversation is Where Leadership Happens™ Do you wonder how to make your expectations clearer or how to avoid frustration when holding others accountable? Join Us on November 16 Join our Workplace Conversations Clinic on November 16 to practice setting clear expectations and following up when things slip. You could also have a chance to practice difficult conversations within your team. Reserve your place → HERE
