Being an Ally Requires Speaking Up

Cathie Leimbach • May 17, 2022

"Courage matters more than niceness", says Austin Channing-Brown. She speaks up for justice, for diversity, equity, and inclusion.  She believes that everyone has someone to offer and that all of us deserve to have opportunities to feel valued and appreciated.  She believes that it is our responsibility to help others be positioned to contribute to the world around them rather than being continually sidelined, marginalized, and battered.


However, in our society today there is unspoken and spoken pressure to just get along - to just keep quiet and not rock the boat.  Yet, when we turn a blind eye to inappropriate behaviors in our homes, workplaces, and communities, we are allowing people to be hurt and our culture to erode.  As Channing-Brown says, "Speaking up for others, for orderly meetings, for the bullying to stop, is disrupting the 'safe' norm".  When we turn a blind eye to disrespectful words and hurtful behaviors, we may be maintaining social and physical safety at the moment, but our tolerance silently gives others permission to continue, and even increase, their negative actions.


It's not okay to put up with ineffective and disrespectful behavior.  Yet, it takes courage to go against the norm and do what is right.  Being 'nice' is often not being kind.  People are often described as nice when they are agreeable; they are stuck in neutral and don't offend or argue.  On the other hand, being kind is showing that you care about others, that you have their best interests in mind and you support them towards a more fulfilling life.  


In her book, Radical Candor, Kim Scott shares that due to having a 'nice' culture she had to close her small business.  Nobody in her company spoke up when an employee did not do their work well; rather than offend the underperformer, they redid the work.  Not having tough conversations with a pleasant employee wasted everyone's time, became frustrating for all, and prevented the business from being viable. 


Channing-Brown encourages everyone to be allies in making a difference in organizational and community diversity.  Marginalized people generally don't have the connections and resources to influence systemic change. Causes led by one person rarely make meaningful headway towards changes in organizational systems in government, businesses and non-profits, neighborhoods or families.  Allies are needed in the cause.  Society will benefit from strong allyship.  (This is a new word for me, too.) 


"Allyship is a life-long process of building supportive associations and relationships based on trust, consistency, and accountability with marginalized individuals and groups. An ally actively promotes and aspires to advance a culture of inclusion through intentional, positive, and conscious efforts."  Do you care enough about living in a strong, vibrant community to practice allyship in your organization or community?  Do you have the courage to speak up even when it means upsetting the unspoken norm?


When you see someone being marginalized due to race, gender, education, economic status, disability, life experience, etc., I encourage all of us to have the courage to speak up for them.  Go to bat for them to be considered and supported.  When you see someone speaking up for the marginalized, support them.  Speak up in the moment.  Go beyond words and take action.  Ask others to join the cause of creating organizations and communities where all people have opportunities to have a meaningful life.

By Cathie Leimbach • November 3, 2026
Tammy was furious. For the third day in a row, the hydraulic hose assembly line was falling behind. How could they keep customers happy when production was this slow? The target was 50 hoses per hour, with at least 98% meeting quality standards. Yet, after two hours, Tom's team had produced only 65 hoses, and six had failed inspection. Tammy marched over to Tom, the line supervisor. “This is unacceptable! You know our targets. Get your people moving!” She stormed off, frustrated and worried about falling further behind. Tom felt embarrassed and discouraged. He told his team to work faster. An hour later, production was still behind, and more hoses had failed inspection. Leadership Tip – Correct Kindly, Solve Problems Together Corrective action doesn't need to be harsh. A calm, respectful conversation can improve both performance and trust. Clarify the gap. Remind the employee of the agreed expectation and describe what you've observed. “Tom, our target is 50 hoses per hour, with 98% meeting standards. Your team produced 65 in two hours, and six failed inspection.” Explore causes and solutions together. Ask, “What's getting in the way?” Listen carefully. Perhaps a crimping machine needs adjustment or a new employee needs coaching. Ask, “What could we do differently? How can I help?” Agree on next steps. Ask Tom to summarize what he'll do. State what you'll do to support him. Agree on when you'll review progress. Bottom Line Kindness doesn't mean lowering expectations. It means helping people meet them. Conversation is Where Leadership Happens™ Be kind. Be clear. Hold people accountable. Have a conversation you’ve been putting off because you don’t want to sound harsh—or let the issue slide? Bring it to the Workplace Conversations Clinic on November 16 to discuss addressing the problem with kindness, setting clear expectations, and agreeing on next steps. Reserve your spot for the November 16 Workplace Conversations Clinic → HERE
By Cathie Leimbach • October 27, 2026
“The same production line’s data is late again,” someone said. “Are we just supposed to keep begging for it?” Maya looked up. Two employees had stopped their own work to help track down the data missing from the weekly report to headquarters. She knew there had been delays. She hadn’t paid attention to how often or what happened when the data came in late. Each Friday, John sent the report out, and Maya moved on. Her team hadn’t moved on. They were tired of disrupting their own work to address the same problem week after week. The Symptom Late work. Repeated mistakes. People asking why they should bother when others don’t do their part. When there is a pattern of leaders letting missed deadlines slide, employees notice. Silence can leave people thinking that missed commitments are acceptable, even when that isn’t what the leader intends. Monitoring performance gives leaders a clearer picture of what is happening—and something specific to discuss with those involved. The Tip Here are three steps to noticing problems and sharing your performance concerns. Track the data. Look at information tied to the work, such as deadlines and errors. Maya could track how often data for the weekly reports arrived late. Walk around. Spend time where the work happens. Notice what people are doing and how one person’s work affects another’s. Maya saw two employees put their work aside to finish someone else’s task. Share what you find. Bring the facts and your observations to the attention of the person involved. Maya could say: “Your weekly production data was submitted late three of the last four weeks. Today, I saw Lee and Sam stop their work to get the raw data and do the analysis.” That makes it clear to the employee that submitting data late is not acceptable. Conversation is Where Leadership Happens™ Is there a pattern at your workplace that you’ve noticed but haven’t addressed? Join our Workplace Conversations Clinic on November 16 to discuss addressing performance concerns. Bring a situation you’ve been letting slide. Reserve your place HERE