Being an Ally Requires Speaking Up

Cathie Leimbach • May 17, 2022

"Courage matters more than niceness", says Austin Channing-Brown. She speaks up for justice, for diversity, equity, and inclusion.  She believes that everyone has someone to offer and that all of us deserve to have opportunities to feel valued and appreciated.  She believes that it is our responsibility to help others be positioned to contribute to the world around them rather than being continually sidelined, marginalized, and battered.


However, in our society today there is unspoken and spoken pressure to just get along - to just keep quiet and not rock the boat.  Yet, when we turn a blind eye to inappropriate behaviors in our homes, workplaces, and communities, we are allowing people to be hurt and our culture to erode.  As Channing-Brown says, "Speaking up for others, for orderly meetings, for the bullying to stop, is disrupting the 'safe' norm".  When we turn a blind eye to disrespectful words and hurtful behaviors, we may be maintaining social and physical safety at the moment, but our tolerance silently gives others permission to continue, and even increase, their negative actions.


It's not okay to put up with ineffective and disrespectful behavior.  Yet, it takes courage to go against the norm and do what is right.  Being 'nice' is often not being kind.  People are often described as nice when they are agreeable; they are stuck in neutral and don't offend or argue.  On the other hand, being kind is showing that you care about others, that you have their best interests in mind and you support them towards a more fulfilling life.  


In her book, Radical Candor, Kim Scott shares that due to having a 'nice' culture she had to close her small business.  Nobody in her company spoke up when an employee did not do their work well; rather than offend the underperformer, they redid the work.  Not having tough conversations with a pleasant employee wasted everyone's time, became frustrating for all, and prevented the business from being viable. 


Channing-Brown encourages everyone to be allies in making a difference in organizational and community diversity.  Marginalized people generally don't have the connections and resources to influence systemic change. Causes led by one person rarely make meaningful headway towards changes in organizational systems in government, businesses and non-profits, neighborhoods or families.  Allies are needed in the cause.  Society will benefit from strong allyship.  (This is a new word for me, too.) 


"Allyship is a life-long process of building supportive associations and relationships based on trust, consistency, and accountability with marginalized individuals and groups. An ally actively promotes and aspires to advance a culture of inclusion through intentional, positive, and conscious efforts."  Do you care enough about living in a strong, vibrant community to practice allyship in your organization or community?  Do you have the courage to speak up even when it means upsetting the unspoken norm?


When you see someone being marginalized due to race, gender, education, economic status, disability, life experience, etc., I encourage all of us to have the courage to speak up for them.  Go to bat for them to be considered and supported.  When you see someone speaking up for the marginalized, support them.  Speak up in the moment.  Go beyond words and take action.  Ask others to join the cause of creating organizations and communities where all people have opportunities to have a meaningful life.

Are you Supporting Your Employees to Overcome Hurdles?

By Cathie Leimbach • September 8, 2026
For weeks, Mary had been frustrated with frequently occurring delays in shipping. During her one-on-one with her supervisor, she finally told him what was going on. He listened, asked questions, and said he would look into it. She left the meeting feeling encouraged. Maybe this situation would finally get resolved. A week later, her supervisor started their one-on-one by asking “So, what do you want to talk about today?” He didn’t mention what he had learned about the problem in shipping. “Of course not!,” she thought. “Nothing is going to change.” So, she sadly replied, “Nothing really. Everything’s fine.” Sometimes employees stop talking because experience has taught them that speaking up doesn’t make any difference. One-on-ones are an opportunity to change that. Give the employee a voice in what gets discussed. Help them address bottlenecks. Follow-up on your to dos from the conversation. It can be as simple as: “Last week we talked about the shipping problem. I checked into it, and here’s what I found out. A possible solution would be this .... How do think that might work? ... What other ideas do you have?” The message is clear: I heard you. I remembered. What you have to say matters. And when employees believe their concerns and ideas matter, they’re more likely to keep speaking up. Conversation is Where Leadership Happens™ What Workplace Conversation Are You Struggling With? Maybe an employee has stopped talking. Maybe you’re dealing with accountability, conflict, attendance, performance—or simply a conversation you’re not quite sure how to approach. Bring it to the FREE Workplace Conversations Clinic on September 21. Join Cathie Leimbach and other leaders to talk through real workplace people challenges, hear different perspectives, and get ideas for moving forward. Register Here 

Build Thinkers, Not Followers

By Cathie Leimbach • September 2, 2026
Many leaders don't set out to become the answer to every question. It happens gradually. Someone asks their leader how to do it because it's faster than figuring it out. Another employee waits because they don't want to make the wrong decision. Before long, you're answering questions your team should be able to answer on their own. The good news is that you don't have to be the answer to every question. You can build a team that thinks, solves problems, and takes ownership without you giving up appropriate control. Here are a few places to start: Ask Before You Answer When someone brings you a problem, don't start by giving them the solution. Instead, ask:  What do you think? What options have you considered? What would you do if I wasn't here? People grow when they think through problems—not when someone else thinks for them. Let Small Decisions Stay Small. Not every decision needs your approval. Look for low-risk opportunities where employees or supervisors can tell the employee to make the call themselves. Confidence grows with experience. Praise Initiative, Even When It's Imperfect. If people believe they'll be criticized every time they make a decision, they'll stop making them. When someone takes ownership, recognize their initiative. Coaching them to make a better decision is easier in the long run than making every decision yourself. Notice the Questions That Keep Coming Back. If you're answering the same questions week after week, don't just answer them faster. Ask why they're still being asked. The issue may not be your people. It may be an unclear expectation, an inconsistent process, lack of training, or a conversation that never happened. Helping people think for themselves doesn't happen in one meeting. It happens through dozens of everyday collaborative conversations that gradually build confidence, judgment, and ownership. Conversation is Where Leadership Happens™ You don't have to figure it all out alone. Bring your workplace people challenges to the FREE Workplace Conversations Clinic September 21. Join Cathie Leimbach and other leaders for a practical conversation about the people challenges you're facing—and leave with fresh perspectives you can put to work. Register HERE