5 Tips for Showing Empathy

Cathie Leimbach • January 25, 2024

Human beings are emotional beings. At work as well as in our personal lives, it is important that we feel respected and noticed as a valuable human being. People feel most valued at work when they have a trusting and supportive relationship with their supervisor and their team members. This includes feeling empathy from others.

Whenever people are troubled, hurting, or dealing with serious problems, they want to feel that others understand what they are going through and are concerned for them. When we show interest and support for a colleague who is facing a tough situation, we are showing empathy. Yet, many find it uncomfortable to reach out to others when they are experiencing difficulties.

Keven Eikenberry offers 5 tips to increase one’s ability to show others that we are concerned for them and wish to understand their situation and their feelings.

  • Lean In – Get close to the person by spending time together or verbally acknowledging you are aware of their tough situation and care about them.
  • Listen – Ask how they are doing or how you could help them, and fully listen to their response. What are their words telling you about their situation? What feelings are they expressing? What is their tone of voice, volume, or talking speed telling you?
  • Look – Focus your eyes on the other person. What are the facial expressions and other body language telling you about their current challenge and how it is impacting them?
  • Let Go – Let go of your ideas about how they could handle their current situation. Don’t take over the sharing time, not even to share details of your similar experience and how you handled it. Help them feel heard. Focus completely on understanding them and their current reality. 
  • Learn – Really learn how the other person feels and how they are responding to their situation. Learn more about them as a person.

Ask questions to show you are interested in learning more. Ask how you could help them.

Once you have used these 5 tips of empathy, the other person will likely feel that you care. If, and only if, their words, tone, and body language show that you have good rapport, you could tell them in one sentence that you have experienced something similar and ask them if they would like you to share what helped you get through it. If they say no, then don’t share. The purpose of your conversation is to show empathy - help them see that you care about them, not for them to listen to you.

Who in your life is going through a tough time just now? When could you support them with the gift of empathy so they know someone cares about them?

Performance Conversations: Clarity Is Kindness

By Cathie Leimbach • July 7, 2026
Most leaders want better performance. They want employees who take ownership, meet expectations, solve problems, and continue growing. Yet many leaders seldom initiate performance conversations – and when they do, it doesn’t go well. Leaders often hesitate because they fear discouraging people. Employees, meanwhile, don't know if they are missing the target. This can be costly. Research highlighted in McKinsey's Courageous Conversations article found that organizations with strong performance practices are four times more likely to outperform their peers. Yet fewer than one-third of employees believe performance reviews actually help them improve. The problem is not just a lack of performance conversations. It's a lack of clarity. The article points to a simple but powerful distinction: separate the hardware of performance from the software of performance. The hardware includes facts, goals, KPIs, commitments, timelines, and standards. The software includes tone, timing, relationships, empathy, and intent. When leaders clearly explain the facts while delivering them with care and respect, employees become more receptive to improvement. Strong leaders don't judge people—they diagnose work.  They focus on behaviors, actions, and results rather than character. They clarify expectations, provide coaching, and create frequent opportunities for alignment. In high-performing cultures, clarity isn't viewed as criticism. It is viewed as support. As the article notes, "Clarity is a kindness, and ambiguity is a burden." Employees deserve to know where they stand, what success looks like, and how to improve. When leaders provide that clarity with dignity and respect, performance conversations become growth conversations. And growth is where better results begin. Download the Performance Conversations: Hardware & Software Checklist for Leaders and learn how to have everyday performance discussions that include opportunities for growth, accountability, and stronger results.

Trust-Building Conversations

By Cathie Leimbach • June 30, 2026
Most workplace tension doesn't come from major conflicts. It comes from too few conversations. A disappointment that was never discussed. A broken agreement that was never repaired. Appreciation that was never expressed. Over time, these "withholds" create friction that slows collaboration, weakens trust, and makes even simple conversations feel difficult. The strongest teams don't avoid tension—they address it early. Research highlighted in a recent McKinsey article found that unresolved tensions can significantly reduce team effectiveness, while high-trust teams consistently outperform their peers. The difference isn't the absence of problems. It's the willingness to talk about them. One of the most practical leadership habits is creating regular opportunities for transparent interaction. That includes appreciation. People should hear what they're doing well far more often than they hear about their shortfalls. Specific, genuine recognition builds trust over time. Those trust deposits matter because once positive relationships are built, difficult conversation are more likely to accept the message . When correction is needed, reinforce that you value the person, even though they aren’t perfect. The goal is growth, not judgment. But leaders should be careful not to make appreciation transactional. If positive feedback has been absent for months, suddenly offering praise immediately before a critique usually feels insincere. Trust is built through a steady pattern of recognition, encouragement, and honest conversation—not a last-minute compliment. Transparent leaders also address issues early. Small frustrations become large resentments when left unresolved. Teams that clear the air quickly spend less energy managing tension and more energy producing results. The result? Less friction. More trust. Stronger relationships. Better performance. Because healthy conversations don't just solve problems—they strengthen the team. Free Leader Guide: 5 Practices for Trust-Building Conversations The best leaders don't wait for tension to become conflict. They build trust before it's needed. Download our 5 Practices for Trust-Building Conversations guide to learn practical ways to strengthen relationships, reduce friction, and create a culture where honest conversations lead to better performance. Download the guide and start building trust one conversation at a time.