Self-Reflection Questions for Personal Growth

Cathie Leimbach • October 1, 2024

Written by John Maxwell

Asking personal leadership questions is one of the most powerful and effective things you can do to improve your life and your leadership.

Great self-accountability questions often stem from a difficult situation in our lives. As people, our natural tendency when dealing with a challenge of some kind is to become frustrated. That moment of frustration presents us with a tremendous opportunity to ask self-leadership questions that help us leverage challenging situations.

John Maxwell calls these “crucible moments,” and they can be powerful teachers. We can up-level our leadership and make better choices in the moment by practicing self-reflective questions before responding.

Here are 3 simple guidelines for creating your own personal leadership questions (PLQs):

1.       Begin with “what” or “how” – avoid “why” “when” or “who.”

The word “why” in problem-solving or selling can be helpful. But when it comes to personal reflection, the “why” word can leave you powerless and feed victim thinking. Asking yourself “what” or “how” will stimulate more productivity.

 Example: “What did I love? What did I learn?”

 

2.       Contain an “I” – avoid “they,” “them” or “we.”

“I” questions enable you to be assertive and help you take responsibility for your own actions. Using “we” instead of “I” gives you an opportunity to pass the blame if something goes wrong. “I” questions also help you become aware of problematic or redundant behavior. You will take responsibility for your own thoughts when you use “I” questions.

 Example: “How is my heart? Do I love what I am doing?”


3.       Focus on action – avoid inaction.

Effective leaders make an intentional effort to prompt action in themselves through personal leadership questions. They gain insight through reflection and hold themselves accountable to turn insight into action. A question is only as productive as what it drives you to do. It’s important that we are honest with ourselves and then focus on how to grow.

Example: “How can I better live out my values in my day-to-day life?”

Nobody understands you better than you. But you have to be honest with yourself in order to grow.

Listening Is Key to Effective One-on-Ones

By Cathie Leimbach • September 15, 2026
Tom walked into his one-on-one feeling relieved. For a week, he had been struggling with two critical assignments. His supervisor had delegated them without much context, and Tom wasn’t clear about the desired results or how to get started. Surely, he thought, we can sort this out today. Fifteen minutes later, Tom walked back to his desk just as confused. His supervisor had done nearly all the talking—reviewing priorities, sharing updates, and reminding Tom that the two assignments were important. But he never asked the question Tom needed to hear: “What do you need from me to be successful?” When One-on-Ones Become One-Way Conversations This happens more often than we might think. Leaders enter one-on-ones with a list of things they need to communicate. They talk through the list, ask if there are any questions, and move on to the next meeting. But a one-on-one should do more than transfer information. Its purpose is to help the employee succeed. That requires conversation—and conversation requires listening. Ask what the employee wants to discuss. Listen for what is getting in the way. Do they need clearer expectations? More training? Better resources? Help making a decision? Encouragement that they are headed in the right direction? Then determine together what each of you will do next. Try This in Your Next One-on-One Instead of starting with your agenda, begin with one simple question: “What would be most helpful for us to talk about today?” Then listen. You may discover that the most valuable thing you contribute to the meeting isn’t what you say. It’s what you learn. Conversation is Where Leadership Happens™ If this has you thinking about the conversations you have with your team, join me at the Workplace Conversation Clinic on September 21 . Bring a question about your one-on-ones or a conversation you’re finding difficult, and let’s work through it together. RESERVE YOUR SPOT HERE

Are you Supporting Your Employees to Overcome Hurdles?

By Cathie Leimbach • September 8, 2026
For weeks, Mary had been frustrated with frequently occurring delays in shipping. During her one-on-one with her supervisor, she finally told him what was going on. He listened, asked questions, and said he would look into it. She left the meeting feeling encouraged. Maybe this situation would finally get resolved. A week later, her supervisor started their one-on-one by asking “So, what do you want to talk about today?” He didn’t mention what he had learned about the problem in shipping. “Of course not!,” she thought. “Nothing is going to change.” So, she sadly replied, “Nothing really. Everything’s fine.” Sometimes employees stop talking because experience has taught them that speaking up doesn’t make any difference. One-on-ones are an opportunity to change that. Give the employee a voice in what gets discussed. Help them address bottlenecks. Follow-up on your to dos from the conversation. It can be as simple as: “Last week we talked about the shipping problem. I checked into it, and here’s what I found out. A possible solution would be this .... How do think that might work? ... What other ideas do you have?” The message is clear: I heard you. I remembered. What you have to say matters. And when employees believe their concerns and ideas matter, they’re more likely to keep speaking up. Conversation is Where Leadership Happens™ What Workplace Conversation Are You Struggling With? Maybe an employee has stopped talking. Maybe you’re dealing with accountability, conflict, attendance, performance—or simply a conversation you’re not quite sure how to approach. Bring it to the FREE Workplace Conversations Clinic on September 21. Join Cathie Leimbach and other leaders to talk through real workplace people challenges, hear different perspectives, and get ideas for moving forward. Register Here