Self-Reflection Questions for Personal Growth

Cathie Leimbach • October 1, 2024

Written by John Maxwell

Asking personal leadership questions is one of the most powerful and effective things you can do to improve your life and your leadership.

Great self-accountability questions often stem from a difficult situation in our lives. As people, our natural tendency when dealing with a challenge of some kind is to become frustrated. That moment of frustration presents us with a tremendous opportunity to ask self-leadership questions that help us leverage challenging situations.

John Maxwell calls these “crucible moments,” and they can be powerful teachers. We can up-level our leadership and make better choices in the moment by practicing self-reflective questions before responding.

Here are 3 simple guidelines for creating your own personal leadership questions (PLQs):

1.       Begin with “what” or “how” – avoid “why” “when” or “who.”

The word “why” in problem-solving or selling can be helpful. But when it comes to personal reflection, the “why” word can leave you powerless and feed victim thinking. Asking yourself “what” or “how” will stimulate more productivity.

 Example: “What did I love? What did I learn?”

 

2.       Contain an “I” – avoid “they,” “them” or “we.”

“I” questions enable you to be assertive and help you take responsibility for your own actions. Using “we” instead of “I” gives you an opportunity to pass the blame if something goes wrong. “I” questions also help you become aware of problematic or redundant behavior. You will take responsibility for your own thoughts when you use “I” questions.

 Example: “How is my heart? Do I love what I am doing?”


3.       Focus on action – avoid inaction.

Effective leaders make an intentional effort to prompt action in themselves through personal leadership questions. They gain insight through reflection and hold themselves accountable to turn insight into action. A question is only as productive as what it drives you to do. It’s important that we are honest with ourselves and then focus on how to grow.

Example: “How can I better live out my values in my day-to-day life?”

Nobody understands you better than you. But you have to be honest with yourself in order to grow.

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In Erica Dhawan’s book, Get Big Things Done, she defines Connectional Intelligence as the ability to combine knowledge, networks, and relationships to drive meaningful results. In today’s busy workplace, it’s not just what you know—it’s how well you connect that turns good ideas into big outcomes. Strong Connectional Intelligence within a team strengthens workplace morale and productivity by impacting four key attributes of high-performance cultures: Value Visibly – People perform better when they know their contributions matter. Leaders who highlight strengths, acknowledge effort, and celebrate progress create a culture where great work becomes contagious. Communicate Carefully – In an age of nonstop messages, clarity is a competitive advantage. Thoughtful communication reduces confusion, prevents conflict, and ensures that everyone moves forward with shared understanding. Collaborate Confidently – Connectional Intelligence flourishes when people feel empowered to contribute. Confident collaboration means inviting diverse perspectives, leveraging individual superpowers, and creating space for smart problem-solving. Trust Totally – Trust is the anchor of all high-performing teams. When leaders show reliability, transparency, and empathy, people take risks, share ideas, and stay aligned toward common goals. Connectional Intelligence helps teams innovate faster, break down silos, and accomplish what truly matters. Want to learn more? Visit Erica Dhawan’s website to explore her full body of work and deepen your understanding of Connectional Intelligence.

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By Cathie Leimbach • December 2, 2025
When people hear “psychological safety,” they often imagine a workplace where everything feels easy and conflict-free. But that’s not what true psychological safety is — and it’s not what high-performing teams need. As leadership expert R. Michael Anderson points out, work and life include tough days, unexpected problems, and moments that stretch us. A psychologically safe workplace doesn’t remove those realities. Instead, it gives people the confidence and support to face them. A safe workplace is one where employees can struggle without fear of embarrassment… try new skills without being put down… ask questions, make mistakes, and keep moving forward. It’s a place where people know their leader is behind them — not by preventing discomfort, but by helping them learn through it. Psychological safety isn’t about coddling or creating a predictable bubble. Real safety looks like this: · You may hear difficult feedback, but it helps you grow. · You are encouraged to take risks, and supported when you slip. · You are stretched beyond your comfort zone, and guided along the way. When leaders create this balance — support plus stretch — people build resilience, confidence, and higher performance. To explore more of these ideas, visit R. Michael Anderson's website .