Self-Reflection Questions for Personal Growth

Cathie Leimbach • October 1, 2024

Written by John Maxwell

Asking personal leadership questions is one of the most powerful and effective things you can do to improve your life and your leadership.

Great self-accountability questions often stem from a difficult situation in our lives. As people, our natural tendency when dealing with a challenge of some kind is to become frustrated. That moment of frustration presents us with a tremendous opportunity to ask self-leadership questions that help us leverage challenging situations.

John Maxwell calls these “crucible moments,” and they can be powerful teachers. We can up-level our leadership and make better choices in the moment by practicing self-reflective questions before responding.

Here are 3 simple guidelines for creating your own personal leadership questions (PLQs):

1.       Begin with “what” or “how” – avoid “why” “when” or “who.”

The word “why” in problem-solving or selling can be helpful. But when it comes to personal reflection, the “why” word can leave you powerless and feed victim thinking. Asking yourself “what” or “how” will stimulate more productivity.

 Example: “What did I love? What did I learn?”

 

2.       Contain an “I” – avoid “they,” “them” or “we.”

“I” questions enable you to be assertive and help you take responsibility for your own actions. Using “we” instead of “I” gives you an opportunity to pass the blame if something goes wrong. “I” questions also help you become aware of problematic or redundant behavior. You will take responsibility for your own thoughts when you use “I” questions.

 Example: “How is my heart? Do I love what I am doing?”


3.       Focus on action – avoid inaction.

Effective leaders make an intentional effort to prompt action in themselves through personal leadership questions. They gain insight through reflection and hold themselves accountable to turn insight into action. A question is only as productive as what it drives you to do. It’s important that we are honest with ourselves and then focus on how to grow.

Example: “How can I better live out my values in my day-to-day life?”

Nobody understands you better than you. But you have to be honest with yourself in order to grow.

Build Thinkers, Not Followers

By Cathie Leimbach • September 2, 2026
Many leaders don't set out to become the answer to every question. It happens gradually. Someone asks their leader how to do it because it's faster than figuring it out. Another employee waits because they don't want to make the wrong decision. Before long, you're answering questions your team should be able to answer on their own. The good news is that you don't have to be the answer to every question. You can build a team that thinks, solves problems, and takes ownership without you giving up appropriate control. Here are a few places to start: Ask Before You Answer When someone brings you a problem, don't start by giving them the solution. Instead, ask:  What do you think? What options have you considered? What would you do if I wasn't here? People grow when they think through problems—not when someone else thinks for them. Let Small Decisions Stay Small. Not every decision needs your approval. Look for low-risk opportunities where employees or supervisors can tell the employee to make the call themselves. Confidence grows with experience. Praise Initiative, Even When It's Imperfect. If people believe they'll be criticized every time they make a decision, they'll stop making them. When someone takes ownership, recognize their initiative. Coaching them to make a better decision is easier in the long run than making every decision yourself. Notice the Questions That Keep Coming Back. If you're answering the same questions week after week, don't just answer them faster. Ask why they're still being asked. The issue may not be your people. It may be an unclear expectation, an inconsistent process, lack of training, or a conversation that never happened. Helping people think for themselves doesn't happen in one meeting. It happens through dozens of everyday collaborative conversations that gradually build confidence, judgment, and ownership. Conversation is Where Leadership Happens™ You don't have to figure it all out alone. Bring your workplace people challenges to the FREE Workplace Conversations Clinic September 21. Join Cathie Leimbach and other leaders for a practical conversation about the people challenges you're facing—and leave with fresh perspectives you can put to work. Register HERE

When the Boss "Bosses People Around"

By Cathie Leimbach • August 25, 2026
This probably isn't the company you imagined building. You wanted a team that solved problems, took ownership, and helped move the business forward. Instead, somewhere along the way, you became the person who answers every question, makes every decision, and tells everyone what to do. The interruptions never end. Every day starts with a plan and ends with another list of problems that somehow became yours to solve. You work harder than ever yet still feel like you're falling behind. Another good employee resigns. Another supervisor struggles. Another improvement initiative loses momentum. You leave work mentally exhausted, wondering why everyone seems busy—but so little actually changes. Your employees feel it, too. When people learn that every decision runs through the boss, they eventually stop making decisions of their own. When leaders spend most of their time directing every task, correcting every mistake, and solving every problem, people gradually stop thinking for themselves. They become cautious instead of confident. They stop offering ideas because they're not sure anyone wants to hear them. Ownership fades. Enthusiasm disappears. The culture slowly shifts from people wanting to contribute to people simply trying to get through the day. Ironically, the more a boss has to boss people around, the less ownership employees take. Before long, leaders become firefighters instead of business builders. Instead of building the company they envisioned, they're simply trying to survive another week. The surprising news is that this cycle usually isn't caused by a lack of effort. The frustrating part is that working harder rarely fixes it. In fact, the harder many leaders push, the more dependent their people become. What feels like the solution often becomes part of the problem. Talking through your leadership challenges with others can be helpful. Ask questions of your network. Get some ideas online. Sometimes another perspective helps you see what your organizational chart or production reports don't. Conversation is Where Leadership Happens™ You don't have to figure it all out alone. Bring your workplace people challenges to the FREE Workplace Conversations Clinic September 21. Join Cathie Leimbach and other leaders for a practical conversation about the people challenges you're facing—and leave with fresh perspectives you can put to work. Register Here