Effective Managers & Coworkers are Kind
Cathie Leimbach • August 15, 2023
“We know that managers are the single biggest determinant of employee satisfaction, performance, and perceptions of well-being,” says McKinsey partner, Emily Field. Yet, too often they are considered just cogs in a wheel, taking instructions from above and pushing the people below to get results.
Often, employees experience their manager as a task master breathing down their back or neglecting them though they need help to succeed. However, effective managers are coaches. Such leaders care about both the people and the workplace results. Here are a few ways that managers can show they care for their team members as individuals and as employees.
- Say good morning to your colleagues. Take a quick walk around the office when you arrive and say hello to several coworkers who are already there. Acknowledge those who walk past your work station as they arrive.
- When working remotely, take a few minutes in the morning to call someone who told you they had an appointment with a medical specialist yesterday and ask how it went. Or, call a colleague who has just returned from vacation and ask them to share a couple of highlights from their time away.
- When you read in the newspaper that one of your colleagues children were the MVP in a sports game or won an academic award, congratulate your colleague in-person, by phone, text, or email.
- Ask others a question about themselves or about their workplace priorities this week. Really listen to their response. Ask a few follow-up questions to learn more.
- When you know a coworker has a big deadline or an unusually taxing workload, ask how you could help. If you can only spare 30 minutes, say “I could take 30 minutes today or tomorrow to help you. What would you like me to do?
- When someone can’t get away for coffee or lunch, grab something for them when you are getting your own.
Next week is “Be Kind to Humankind Week”. How will you show kindness to the people in your life at work and beyond? Click here for 15 ways you could express kindness at work.
Most leaders know they should give feedback. Yet many avoid it. Not because they don't care, but because they worry they'll discourage someone, create conflict, or say the wrong thing. Unfortunately, when feedback is delayed, vague, or avoided, employees don't feel supported—they feel uncertain. Research highlighted in a recent McKinsey Quarterly article found that employees who receive regular, specific feedback are significantly more engaged than those who don't. The problem isn't that employees dislike feedback. They dislike feedback that feels judgmental, unclear, or disconnected from their growth. The strongest leaders understand something important: Feedback isn't a download. It's a dialogue. When leaders approach feedback as an employee development conversation rather than a list of mistakes, people become more open to hearing hard truths and more motivated to improve. Effective feedback communicates two powerful messages at the same time: I respect you. I believe you can grow. That combination changes everything. The best leaders don't simply evaluate past performance; they help employees see future potential. Rather than focusing only on what went wrong, they provide feedforward —guidance on what someone can do to become even more successful. High-performing organizations understand a simple truth: Improvement requires input. The question for leaders isn't whether to give feedback. It's whether our feedback leaves people feeling smaller—or stronger. Feedback doesn't change people. Better conversations do. Download our one-page guide: 5 Practices That Turn Feedback Into Growth Learn five practical ways to make every feedback conversation more productive, more encouraging, and more likely to inspire lasting growth. Conversation is where leadership happens
Most leaders want better performance. They want employees who take ownership, meet expectations, solve problems, and continue growing. Yet many leaders seldom initiate performance conversations – and when they do, it doesn’t go well. Leaders often hesitate because they fear discouraging people. Employees, meanwhile, don't know if they are missing the target. This can be costly. Research highlighted in McKinsey's Courageous Conversations article found that organizations with strong performance practices are four times more likely to outperform their peers. Yet fewer than one-third of employees believe performance reviews actually help them improve. The problem is not just a lack of performance conversations. It's a lack of clarity. The article points to a simple but powerful distinction: separate the hardware of performance from the software of performance. The hardware includes facts, goals, KPIs, commitments, timelines, and standards. The software includes tone, timing, relationships, empathy, and intent. When leaders clearly explain the facts while delivering them with care and respect, employees become more receptive to improvement. Strong leaders don't judge people—they diagnose work. They focus on behaviors, actions, and results rather than character. They clarify expectations, provide coaching, and create frequent opportunities for alignment. In high-performing cultures, clarity isn't viewed as criticism. It is viewed as support. As the article notes, "Clarity is a kindness, and ambiguity is a burden." Employees deserve to know where they stand, what success looks like, and how to improve. When leaders provide that clarity with dignity and respect, performance conversations become growth conversations. And growth is where better results begin. Download the Performance Conversations: Hardware & Software Checklist for Leaders and learn how to have everyday performance discussions that include opportunities for growth, accountability, and stronger results.