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Giving Advice Doesn’t Work. Here is What is Better.

Cathie Leimbach • June 10, 2021

As a leader, you want to empower your employees to be independent thinkers, work through issues and come up with the best solution. This helps your team develop and grow professionally.  In addition, it allows your organization’s goals and objectives to be met much more efficiently. 

 

Employees who are trusted to think through issues effectively feel heard, appreciated, and are more engaged. They want to show up and do their very best work every day.

 

When employees approach you with a problem or challenge, it can be easy to jump in and provide what you are sure is the “perfect” advice. Here’s why that doesn’t work:

 

  • It’s judgmental. It sends the message that you are the smartest one in the room because they would have already figured it out if they were. This ultimately breaks down confidence and leaves the employee feeling “less than.”


  • Advice is a directive. When you give advice, you are telling someone what to do. That implies you have all of the answers about what works and what doesn’t. How could you? Chances are you don’t have all of the background in the situation, nor do you have a complete understanding of your employee’s thought process, experience, and skills.


  • It sets up a “gotcha” dynamic. When you give advice, you give your employee two choices: take the advice or ignore it. If they take it, they are tacitly admitting you are right, and they are wrong.  You are almost guaranteed to create defensiveness. When advice is ignored, it invites the possibility of an “I told you so.” Neither of these scenarios supports your employee’s confidence or skill development.


  • It shuts your employee down. Unsolicited advice means your employee will not only not be open to hearing you, he or she will also be much more hesitant to open up with their opinions and insights in the future.


  • Your employee ends up being discouraged from thinking through solutions. They stop trying to think on their own. Strong teams are made up of members who can use critical thinking and expertise to analyze issues and craft viable solutions. 

 

So, if giving advice doesn’t work, what does? The answer lies in (a) asking probing, open-ended questions to help your employee think through the issues and (b) always asking permission before giving advice. 

 

  • Use probing, open-ended questions to gather as much information and insight as possible.  For example:

“Share with me what your thoughts are about the situation.”

“What do you think the underlying problems are?”

“What options have you uncovered to overcome the challenge or solve the problem?”

 

Using open-ended probing questions helps your employee or team think through all of the elements of a particular situation.

 

  • Ask permission before giving any advice.  Let’s say that your employee has outlined all of the possible options they have considered, and you see one more. For example, you could say:

“I appreciate your summary and insights. I thought of one more option; may I share it with you.”

“I am wondering if I may share something else that came to mind while we were talking.”

“I can think of another option.  Would you like to hear it?”

 

Two tools to banish the advice trap.


  • Empower your employees by encouraging their analysis and identifying options and solutions through probing questions to develop stronger, more effective employees. That is a win-win-win for you, them, and your organization. 

 

  • Asking permission before offering options or solutions creates a consensus-building conversation and communicates the respect you have for your employees’ input and ideas.

 

If you would like some additional help identifying ways to empower your employees, reach out for a free breakthrough consultation at cathie@agonleadership.com.

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